I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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