its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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