need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
