Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
