you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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