Duck Duck Cougar?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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