Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
