saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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