No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize