Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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