I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
