Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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