the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
