that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
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There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You're a waste of cheezeits
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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