I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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