It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
