At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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