dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
love makes seman taste better
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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