We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I puked a lego.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
