The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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