Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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