Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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