I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
