Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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