we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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