Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
