He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
