SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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