Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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