she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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