Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Im part way to drunk.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
