I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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