We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
