We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
