I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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