another moral hangover. fuck.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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