this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My life is pants optional.
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