Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
