:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
