Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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