i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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