i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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