You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
