What did we do last night that was yellow?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
