It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
