i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
