i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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