I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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