Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
