It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
smell my finger.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
