Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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