i think my tv is drunk
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
