If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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