Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
