I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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