do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
