I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
