do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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