We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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