I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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