What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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