And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
