Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
