as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
