On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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