Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
