worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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