Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
