I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
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