forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
