walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
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Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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