Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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