I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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