Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
